1. Submit your blog on every website you can find. Then persist to comment every other users profile about how great their material is and hope they comment back in return. Use phrases such as 'Wow, your blogs so much better than mine' and 'I wish I could write like you' to appear modest.
2. Find everyone you know, in the world, and tell them about your blog. Tell them to make sure they subscribe and to inform all their friends about how it's better than any other blog out there. Remind them that they must subscribe, or become a fan, because if they don't you won't speak to them again or give them any money when you become wealthy and famous. That way you will build up a loyal following.
3. Be search engine friendly. Leave tags/labels on your material that might have the slightest of relevance which allow a small chance that someone will stumble onto your material accidentally and might be interested. Always use generic tags like technology, news or the best blog .
4. Sign up to every social networking website you can find. Then persist to update your status with vaguely interesting or funny quotes in-between links to your material to keep people subscribed and aware of when your new material is up. That way people will think you are an insightful and interesting person.
5. Make sure people know when your new content is going to be uploaded. That way people won't just randomly come to look at your website and may even integrate it into their boring weekly schedule. Days I suggest would be Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays or Sundays. This is because these days I don't upload content and I don't want my views to be stolen by your inferior blog.
6. Find a balance between quantity and quality. It's impossible to make everything you do your best work so have a 1:3 ration of good to mediocre material. Try to show off your good work by placing a link somewhere near the top for people to see and click on. That way when people see the mediocre material they won't be that disappoint.
7. People like to add a face to what is being produced so make sure you write a nice bio about yourself and include a picture. This makes the work feel more personal and people can put a face to the material they either hate or love. Once you have this initial bio, make sure you copy and paste it to all your online profiles with the same picture allowing people to recognise you on other sites, which will inevitably get your other profiles more friends which will translate into more views.
8. Write things that people want to read. For example the majority of people that read amateur blogs tend to be bloggers. So maybe write articles or posts that bloggers would like to read...
9. Take into account what appeals to the masses. Not everyone likes to read about things but more people do like to watch videos. Cater to the short attention span of people online and try and create some short, clever videos, or if your like me have a go at talking your posts in the form of a vlog or speech. This way people who can't read will be able to understand your blogs, opening up a whole new market.
10. Don't feel intimidated by any topic. The internet is full of information to help you bullshit your way through anything. Simply find the Wikipedia page and come up with assumptions based on what you have read.
11. When you create a post don't just submit it to your blog and hope people will read it. Go out and pollute the internet your articles on websites such as Digg and Stumble upon.
12. Never take advice of any other blogger about what content you should write because bloggers who publish these articles tend not to know themselves and are simply being lazy. They are most likely just applying rule number 8. Always come up with your own ideas and try and be original. It is hard to always be original, however if you do find something relatively low key repackage it and make it your own.
13. Allow guests to submit posts on your blog. That way you don't have to put in any effort on some days and is a good way to give you own blog regular content and their blog free publicity. This also makes it look like you care about other blogs. (submit your post)
14. When putting effort to into advertising your blog remember that the greater the time spent, the greater the amount of views. Persistent notifications and updates will inevitably make people visit your blog.
15. Go down to your nearest city. Get flyers printed with your blog address on, a clever quote and offering a prize for someone who submits a post. Then go down to your hairdressers, dye your hair blue and shout at the top of your lungs 'VISIT MY WEBSITE AND WIN A PRIZE' while handing out your fliers. This is a sure way to get more views.