Sunday, 28 February 2010

iPledge an Allegiance to the Mac




iPods, iPhones and iMacs are only a few of the products that are made by Apple. If you haven't heard yet, they are all brilliant and nothing can or could possibly compete on their level. What's that you say? You've never used one? Well try one. Go out and buy one this very moment. You will love it. Everyone loves them. It's a fact!

It is now statistically proven that anyone who has bought a Mac, has always fallen in love with it. People love them so much Apple had to paint them white to hide all the slimy admiration all over each and every one. iMacs tend to work quite well. Some people prefer the operating system to Windows and some particular pieces of software work well on Mac computers. However as nice as Macs may be, a percentage of its fan base are turning fundamental and will protect their precious, expensive hardware against anything anyone in the universe has to say.

The worst thing about Apple products, and the reason stopping me from buying some, would be the ability for each of them to turn you into an iPrick. iPricks usually tend to hang around coffee shops with their nice shiny computers on display. These are the rules on what to do around an iPrick:

1. Don't question the Apple Product or suggest anything else is superior.
2.  If you break the first rule (I know it's hard) don't use the argument that you prefer Windows because they will just tell you to buy a Mac and put Windows on it or say it's so much easier to use.
3. Don't tell them that Macs don't get as many viruses (they do get viruses) because they are such a small percentage of the market share because Macs only work with Apple's hardware.
4. Watch Out, they bite.

A recent study has actually shown that 85% or Mac owners also own a PC or as some Mac supporters like to put it 15% of people who PCs also own a Mac, so these people may be secret Windows users at home in their deep dark dens.

Some Apple products do tend to be quite good however they are not all great. The future of tablet computing isn't going to be a device that can only run one application at a time, so the fact that the iPad is exactly this means that it won't be hard for other companies to compete with a better model. It is a bit depressing how Apple have set the standard bar so low at the beginning of this new age.

The reason for me writing this article is because of a situation I found myself in a few days ago. I was innocently sitting at my desk, at work, where I may have mentioned to the person next to me that I was thinking about buying a Kindle, to which he responded I should buy an iPad. At first this seemed like an innocent and logical suggestion, so I simply said to him I am waiting to buy a tablet PC until they get better because the iPad isn't that good. The man then attacked me. I could see the Apple logo glistening in his eyes. He said the iPad was going to be the next big thing and that we should all buy one. I said it probably won't be and was thrown with the fact how could I possibly know when it hasn't come out yet. It then appeared to me that this man was an idiot. He then persisted to say that I was scared of Apple because their computers are becoming so easy to use that I won't be able to get a job being a software engineer. I assured the man that this wasn't the reason since all computers need software no matter who they are made by, to which he patted me on the back patronisingly and left.

I have used OSX before and I can understand why some people may find it easier to use but is that that illogical that I might prefer Windows? To some Mac users this may be the case.

There is a nice old saying that Apple users swear by their devices and Microsoft swear at theirs. Both systems are good but there really isn't any huge advantage one has over the other. Just because something costs a lot more or looks cooler doesn't make it better. I have an iPhone, which I like, but Apple are at the end of the day another company trying to get every penny they can out of me. Apple are not to blame but people. Unfortunately I am one of those people who will always choose practicality over image, no matter if it's white and shiny. Macs may be practical for some people but not for me.

Monday, 22 February 2010

Blood Money Movies





What is it that draws people to movies that are gory and sickening? Deranged films are being released every year with the only premise being that everyone is going to die in a sick and entertaining way. Rather than turning us all into serial killers we are now paying more and more hard earned cash to watch people get their limbs twisted off one by one, but how is this affecting the type of movies being released and might it make people want to torture their neighbours cat?

Sick and twisted movies are now making more money than ever. With Saw VII planed to be released this October, designing gruesome death machines could just be as good as printing your own money. Like many shock horror movies, these have nothing more to add we haven't seen before. When your villain has supposedly died more times than a blind man attempting to play Mario, it does seem to be a hard task to keep the brand flowing and to keep an interesting story line going. Luckily people no longer care about story lines and neither do the creators. The majority now only go to see Saw films to see people get well and truly 'fucked up'.

By abandoning all forms of story structure the Saw film brand has now gone from being a rather insightful and deep film, created to make the person watching question their own moral decisions while watching people suffer suitable, yet over the top, punishments for their deeds, to basically watching people slowly suffer in killing machines that there is no escape from with as much depth as a double glazed window.

The film Hostel went the other way. Rather than start off in depth, the first film tells us little about the actual process of people paying to torture, as well as how everything works behind the scenes. Hostel Part 2, then took the initiative to show more about how the process works which made the second film a hell of a lot more interesting than the first, while still managing to keep upping the gore factor by mutilating a grown man's penis.

The one thing people might be starting to notice is that these movies are now slowly turning into sick and gruesome forms of porn rather than what could be described as a film. Personally, I am far from jacking off    to the next sick horror flick, but not everyone may be thinking in this mindset. How long is it till we get so much blood and 3D pickaxes thrown at us that people start to get turned on?

Will there be a Jigsaw copycat killer? Will someone start to wonder what it would be like to find and torture an innocent person? The honest answer is probably not. Most people can tell the difference between reality and film, and as long as people stay rational these films can keep being made.  The true practical nature of creating and getting away with such crimes is practically impossible. Trust me, I know. Final Destination movies have the awesome trait of being so over the top that it's about as realistic as Peter Pan which helps keep this entire genre fun.

Death sex and rock 'n' roll tend to be the modern formula to making a decent gore film, and as long as people are willing to pay to see a woman have her face blow torched till her eyeball is hanging out of her skull then this stuff will carry on to be made. Personally I'm all for the next big gore film as long as it's entertaining and fun, and not called Saw.

Sunday, 21 February 2010

What to Blog About?



Do you suffer from writers block? I did for a long time which explains the lack of posts in the last month. To prevent this from happening again on your blog, or mine, I have made a video about what to do when your out of ideas. I tried to make it short and quirky as this is my first video. It surprisingly took longer to make than your standard article. At least on the internet you are not limited to one form of media. Don't forget to subscribe!

Thursday, 18 February 2010

Global Warning




It has recently come to the attention of the world that in the future we may all die because of global warming.We will all be killed 'Day After Tomorrow' style with storms of biblical proportions, but what are we now doing as a planet to prevent this from happening?

The answer unsurprisingly is not a lot. People are selfish and will usually do what is in their best interest. If the affects aren't directly effecting them then there is a strong chance that the people won't actually do anything. It's like peoples attitudes to poverty. There is not enough resources in the world for everyone to live like they do in wealthy countries, but you don't see many people making cuts in their own life to help other people. What the world needs is a Jesus Christ like character to show us what to do. If one person could donate all their belongings to a third world country, devote their life to helping others and do magic tricks this could potentially inspire a huge amount of people.

However, we have to make sure that we don't exploit this person by releasing a best selling novel. At the moment the Christian church is ridiculously wealthy yet still people starve to death on a daily basis. From personal experience I remember going on a 'pilgrimage' to Lourdes in France. Being the Saint I am, I only really went to help the sick, as well as helping out in the local hospitals. I did find something uneasy about the blind faith these sick and dying people put into the religion, but obviously the trip was something good for them since they all seemed to enjoy it. I also ended up having to attend a long selection of boring church services and what not. The one point that stood out for me is when a priest was telling me in front of a golden statue in a huge church filled with masses of wealth to give all I own to the poor. I got a few strange looks when I burst out laughing right after the priest finished his story.

I seem to have gone off topic a tiny bit here but it is all relevant to human behaviour and is the exact same attitude to global warming. The church is not living in poverty and because of greed they hold back on the amount they can do. This is the same for climate change. Why shouldn't I drive to my local dogging site which I could walk to? I don't see any of the affects happening. Maybe I feel like burning plastic 24/7 in my garden because I like the smell and I don't like my neighbours. There are no real obvious consequences for anti-climate actions so people aren't going to stop their every day habits.

Countries are to blame for not really doing anything. The only way climate change can actually be stopped is if everyone cuts down on carbon emissions, not just the one woman on the end of your street who recycles her milk bottles. If everyday you walk outside your house and see a homeless person you may be more inclined to give money and help them rather than hearing about homeless people occasionally on the news. Do people really need a tidal wave smashing and destroying their house to stop them driving as much?

A recent survey has shown that the worst thing you can do to affect the climate is by having a baby. That will increase your carbon footprint dramatically, so make sure everyone keeps using contraception and having lots of abortions. Otherwise the world may become a giant water based theme park for aliens that have a bit more common sense than us.

I think we can all safely assume that the world is doomed to global warming, if it exists. There has been some evidence recently that some data collected was incorrect, meaning that we may not have to cut down as much as we think. However it is proven that rising carbon dioxide in the atmosphere is having negative effects on the earth so unfortunately we can't get off that easily. Then again, there always is a chance that global warming is a conspiracy by Polar Bears. Cut down on your carbon emissions and become the next Jesus Christ. If that isn't an incentive then I don't know what is.

Tuesday, 16 February 2010

What's Worse than Music Awards?



With the Brit Awards about to start in only a few short hours on writing of this post I thought I would make my own music awards that are not as predictable as every other award show in the galaxy. The official BAB (being a blogger) awards for music shall now start here. For anyone who doesn't live in the UK, the Brit Awards are music awards like the MTV Awards but only for British artists, apart from the international award which is for anyone in the world.

The BAB Awards have been decided by a top panel consisting of me, myself and I. Much thought goes into what has stood out of the crowd as well as finding the shining gems that have still yet to be discovered in a pile of decomposing Youtube covers. Since this is the first of a hopefully annual BAB awards there shall be no offical start and end date for these awards, however next year all the enteries will be from the year before, as long as it isn't a depressing year for music.

The thing that makes these awards different is that they are based of introducing you to music you may never of heard , depending on where you live, or something that goes against the flow and stands out for the better. Not like your average award show which awards the most popular artists who whore themselves out to every screaming fan on the face of the earth.

Most Interesting 

The award for the most interesting piece of music is quite hard to give because how can you say something is interesting. The piece which looks very complicated to make but actually pulls itself by sounding good and simple is going to be the definition I shall use. Playing 25 different songs over each other and releasing it may not sound like a good idea, however DJ Earworm has managed to pull it off with his latest ensemble of pop hits.



As far as complexity goes you really can't beat something that takes this long to create.This is DJ Earworm's third mashup and does a brilliant job of reminding us that pop songs can sound good. This Youtube video has already had over 12 million views so if you haven't seen it yet, you really are missing out.

Alternative Comedy Song

The award for the alternative comedy song is a tough choice. I'm sure many people have seen Lonely Island's 'Jizz in My Pants' , or their 'I'm on a Boat'. However these awards are for the songs that are not too well known. Those two songs are brilliant but one song that was a bit different is by an Australian, about the positives of having a blow up doll as a girlfriend. The song is called 'Inflatable You' by Tim Minchin.



Tim Minchin is an Australian artist who is well known for stand up and doing comedy songs with his piano. He gets this award for being funny, outrageous and Australian.

The Most Random Piece of Music

The 'Most Random'  award is going to be a tough one to give because there is not a large amount of music that is different to all mainstream. This award is going to a band for doing something retro and completely different, providing us with an old sound to listen to but with a modern takes. Gaming geeks may enjoy this piece more.



Many of you may notice the traditional 8 bit sounds being used here from the Nintendo system. They use that combined with modern rock instruments to create something that sounds completely original and like nothing else out at the moment. Retro Rules!

The Best Soundtrack

Movie Soundtracks don't tend to get the credit they deserve. This is mainly because they are attached to a films, and all the music isn't always released. For all you classical music haters out there, you might like to think what atmosphere the song is trying to create before you listen to it. Classical music does tend to have a deeper meaning. One of the soundtracks that did suit the film well, and suit the atmosphere perfectly, was 'The Gravel Road' from the film 'The Village' by James Newton Howard.



The film as well as being strange and dark, had an interesting twist at the end. Although not renowned for one of the best films of the year, the soundtrack does have the ability to make you feel uncomfortable which is good news for any horror film soundtrack.

These four songs are a gateway to whole new styles of music, so when listening don't just look at one track. Let's hope this time next year we can see some even more interesting and creative music which pushes the boundaries of Garage Band to the full extent. 

Thursday, 4 February 2010

Don't Cry, Go Online





A recent study has shown that people tend to be more depressed if they spend large amounts of time on the internet. Is the internet not a happy place full of joy, wonder and information? Or really is it a place of evil darkness and depression where people go to cry and escape from their mundane boring  life (or possibly read about someone else's mundane boring life).
I would like to point out that according to this survey I am classed as an internet addict, which would suggest there is a strong chance I may be depressed. This article has now become personal. Being honest, I don't feel particularly depressed. I spend large amounts of time on the internet because it's what I enjoy. As well as a self confessed blogger, I do spend the majority of my online time doing other things. I used to spend just as much time on the internet before writing ridiculous amounts of articles. The study does point out that it is not clear yet whether it's depressed people that go on the internet for long amounts of time, or that spending endless hours browsing the internet makes you depressed.
Why do people go on the internet? A casual user may surf the information super highway to find out about what's happening in the world, or catch up with their friends. They may enjoy online games or simply playing about and checking out their favourite websites. They may want to go shopping and purchase items or bid for stuff because that's what all their 'cool friends' are now doing. They may want to watch all the latest online videos or a TV show they have missed, or even download the latest music. They could even update their Twitter account about the fact that they are sitting at home on the internet. If anything, this proves that the internet can be used for a ridiculous amount of different uses. One could assume none of these could make anyone particularly depressed, apart from Twitter.
Potentially the internet could be used for the same reason why anyone who watches a large amount of films or plays video games. To escape from reality. So it  may be logical to believe that people go on the internet to spice up their own life because they are feeling unfulfilled. That would agree with the theory that people go to the internet because they are depressed, but is there anything that suggests spending large amounts of time can make you depressed?
In the old days the internet could have been seen as antisocial however with all its latest uses it's far from. People can now talk to their friends anywhere in the world (with internet), however there are still people out there who fail to see the social side. The older generation, as well as the type of person who is still scared to use internet because they may get a virus, still have the view that the internet is a place simply for information. Could it now go as far to say that using the internet is now more social than actually speaking to someone?
How can the internet make you depressed? Well there doesn't appear to be any obvious reasons, unless you count the constant depressing news stories, the people who complain about everything and those dam trolls. It could be the media making the people depressed, since the internet is a place where people are exposed to large amounts of advertising which is always helpful to remind you how shit you look by showing you an alternative reality where people get six packs in a matter of weeks.
What is more depressing than someone sitting at home writing about things they notice or reporting things that they see for no apparent reason, which barely anyone in the world will ever read? Well that question I cannot answer, however I do have a ridiculous amount of spare time which is probably better spent doing something constructive rather than writing blogs.

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